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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Will Rogers

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

E. B. White

I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that will not work.

Thomas A. Edison

Complaining is good for you as long as you aren’t complaining to the person you’re complaining about.

Lynn Johnston

When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother’s Day.

Sam Ewing

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